Topical

Women

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I was a bit reluctant to write this article, but one of my readers keeps proding me for an article once in a while. So here goes.

Every year, women's Day is celebrated on March 8. I don't know why. In fact one of the newspaper article asks the same question. Why indeed? Have you heard on the men's day? No? Right. If men and women are equal, then why or rather, why not??

This concept starts with a wrong premise and then demands equality.

In my own mind, men and women are equal, no second guessing. But.... and this is a big but.

Nature created life. Every living species is bisexual, male and female. Humans are no exception. There is no arguing that.

The purpose of life is to live and procreate. The male is the provider and protector of the family. The male is supposed to be physically and mentally strong. A female, on the other hand is supposed to be beautiful, so that she can attract the male. She is supposed to bear and rear the offspring. Every living organism follows this law. No arguing with this law either, Right? The problem started when we, the humans, started arguing about this.

This happened when we grew brains. Now our brains have become so big that 90% of us suffer from back problems.

Cut to chase, the present. In our society, women were suppressed, no doubt about that. But now things are changing. Women started educating themselves. Now they get equal education. In our middle-class families, in the majority of them at least, girl is treated at par with a boy. She gets all the encouragement to learn and have a career. If you look around, many girls under 20-25 have achieved great success in life in various careers. The problem starts when she thinks of getting married and starting a family. Now she is also thinking of her career. Like her husband, she also needs to spend 12-13 hours a day outside the home pursuing her goals. So who is going to run the house? In a joint family, your parents help you. Ok, but should they? They have their own lives to live. Why should they run your home also? And you have a bigger problem if the couple is staying separately.

As far as childbearing and rearing are concerned, the girls have no option. Maybe, with genetic engineering, a few decades down the line, there will be options available. But not as of today. After delivery, the mother needs to take care of the child at least for a few months. The husband can certainly and should help if you want to uphold equality.

These days some couples take the easy way out. They decide that they don't want children. Problem solved. But it is a decision one can regret in the second half of life.

As your child starts growing other problems arise. Who will look after the child when both parents are working? If you put your child in a creche, you are missing the golden years of being with him when he takes his first step, utters the first word, etc. If you are not around when that happens, why bring him in this world in the first place? When schooling starts, you will have a few free hours to yourself. But then the child needs help at every step in his early years. Are you in a position to give that?

Once a child becomes a bit older, you can let him be. But still, you need to keep a close watch on him. These days, it is easier to get into bad company and bad habits. Do either of you have the time to supervise him, and help him make critical decisions for him?

These days, formal education is not enough. Children need exposure to sports, arts etc. They need to read. Reading habits are being lost in this generation. Children don't even know their own mother tongues. Because they are learning in English medium. Down the line, they don't understand ethnic culture. Can not fathom the finer nuances of their mother tongue.

What about good old nutritious home-cooked food, if parents do not have time to cook at home? It is going to affect their health in the long run. Already, obesity is a big problem in kids, due to malnutrition. One of the articles wants you to do away with the kitchen at home. What rubbish!!

So what is the solution?

This generation complains that they do not have time to do all this. That is not right. Time has to be managed. When we were working, we used to get up around 4:45 am every day to take care of our household chores, and exercise, no matter when we slept the previous day. You need to remain healthy by exercising, and by eating home-cooked food. There is no option.

This is where gender equality steps in. The husband needs to help his wife in every way possible including cooking if required. During the COVID days, one of my friends learned cooking and was cooking for six months when his wife was stuck abroad due to travel restrictions. So, it can be done.

I spent a couple of years abroad, where generally Indian students live in a shared two-bedroom flat, with four students per flat. They used to cook, turn by turn, per week because eating out was expensive. If they could do it in their student lives why not married couple?

I don't cook as such. But I have learned enough to do my bit like making dal and rice and a few snacks whenever needed, which is not too often, I admit, thanks to my wife. But you get the point right? If You cannot cook, spend time with your child, guide him, teach him, and enroll him in other activities like sports and other extracurricular activities. It is not too much to ask.

I believe this is the only way we can bring in gender equality. Till then, happy Women's Day!!!