Topical

Sunday column 10-09-2023

I met ShreeKrishna the other day. He seemed a little annoyed.

I asked him, what happened? He said, I made a mistake and came down to the earth the other day. Look what a mess people have created.

So much noise everywhere. All roads are blocked. Everywhere I go I see human pyramids trying to break an earthen pot hung high up. Tens are trying to break it and hundreds are cheering. There is a girl gyrating to the beats.

And look at the huge podium. Lots of politicians are gathered there. And all this is happening in my name. Oh God!!!

I said, why are you calling yourself?

He said, what?? I am not a God. You know, I was just a kid, trying to steal some butter from my mother, and now look what people have made me.

I said, but you can change all this.

He said, how? I complained to Indra, but he said I cannot do anything. You talk to Devendra in Bombay, no sorry, Mumbai. With so many name changes, I forget. Next, I will forget my own name.

Where is Mumbai, I asked Indra. He said, in India.

I fed the GPS coordinates in my mobile but could not find India. I called Narad Muni. He said India is no more. Now, it is Bharat. Search for Bharat. I did, and then I got here. But looks like my trip is a waste. Devendraji is busy attending so many, what you call them, Govindas! Eknath is equally busy and Ajit is missing as usual. His phone is switched off. Do you know if he is changing the party again?

No, I said, He goes off the radar, once in a while.

Sharad was willing to talk, but what is the use of that these days?

Why not talk to Narendraji?

No way, he said. Delhi is locked down. Some big 20-20 tournament going on there. All who’s who from the world are here. But Putin and Xi are absent. They have their own match.

ShreeKrishna, it not 20-20. It is G-20. All world leaders are here.

Yeah, but why leave Rahul out? He is good entertainment. They could have paid him some money like those film stars.

I said, Rahul is on a tour of Europe, trying to increase india’s fame.

Which India? You said, it is no more.

No, no. it is the other I.N.D.I.A.

What? I do not understand.

Look, politics has changed since you talked about Gita in Mahabharat. There was a clear distinction between friends and foes. Now you do not know who is who. Everyone changes party like you change clothes these days. Almost every party has split into two. Except BJP. Everyone wants to join BJP these days. They are all scared of ED and CBI.

What is that?

It is a long story. You have been out of touch for ages now. I will tell you some other time.

Okay, I think I am helpless here, said ShreeKrishna. I will go back now. Need to feed GPS coordinates of heaven into my apple. Oh, in my days, it was a fruit, you know. Hope they have not renamed heaven by now. Fortunately, there is not much return traffic to heaven these days. All roads going to hell are jam-packed.

ShreeKrishna left. After some time, I received a message from him saying, reached safely. He added that in his next incarnation, he is going to be a politician. He will start training with Narad Muni from tomorrow.

Shashank Purandare 10/09/2023